Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

           The incident I am about to relate to you happened a couple of weeks ago while I was on vacation.  My husband and I went to a very family, friendly chain restaurant.  We love to eat breakfast there, especially on road trips; however, this particular experience rubbed me the wrong way.  I am probably taking it way too seriously and being overly sensitive about the experience. My husband and I went into the restaurant and we waited to be seated.  First of all, the hostess took her time getting us a table.  I believe we waited a good five minutes before being sat down.  It was a situation of we were the only people to have had walked in within the last ten minutes, however, she never said there might be a slight wait with your table, but she never took her time to look over to see that there was a small, clean table for two that we could have been sat at over five minutes ago.  When we were finally sat down, our waitress did not even give me time to open my menu before asking what I wanted to eat.  I told her, ‘I don’t know yet but I do want orange juice to drink (she did not even ask my husband what he wanted to drink.)  It was ten minutes before I got my orange juice and my husband’s drink order was taken.  When she came back with my husband’s drink, then the waitress took our meal order.  Our meal finally came out to us about thirty-five minutes later.  Our check was handed to us within five minutes of receiving the meal.  Not once, were we asked for refills or if our meal was to our liking.  However, the waitress was very friendly with another couple who were of the same race as her.  She asked them how they were and let them have time to order while she brought the couple their beverages.  I noticed the waitress was the same way with other couples who were of the same race.   Now, I may be looking at this too deep like I said, but I felt slided by this particular waitress.  I will say that our food was good, but I did not feel we were receiving the same customer services as the others at her station.  The microaggression may have been unintentional simply because this waitress was busy and tables were full, and she may have detected a vibe that we were a little put off from the way the hostess greeted and seated us. 

                One thing I have learned about microaggressions is that sometimes when another person’s mood or emotions spill out from circumstances of the day it has nothing to do with that person’s culture, race, or ethnicity group.  However, we must learn to take the good with the bad and not prejudge a person’s actions on the basis of their culture, race, and ethnicity in order to prevent ourselves from saying something we might regret later.        

Culture and Diversity Perspectives

o    Their definition of culture:

I talked to my husband, my lifelong friend, and my mom about what they believe culture is and what factors it entails.  All believed that culture deals with one’s race, religion, language, and socioeconomic status.  However, how far with the definition each person went was very different. For example, my husband went into the fact that culture dealt with an individual’s day to day routine, my friend explained that it deals with someone’s views and opinions, and my mom felt that culture deals with how someone dresses, acts, and the interest of that person.

o    Their definition of diversity:

Each of the three people I interviewed also gave me their views on culture.  My husband said diversity is differences between culture’s, races, religion, and language.  My friend added that diversity is all the things my husband said but it is also everyone learning to respect each other’s differences, and my mother added that diversity is change.   

Reflection :

            Aspects of culture and diversity that have been included from the people who I interviewed are seeing a person’s surface culture and learning to respect each person’s differences through education.  I found all three of my interviewees did not bring up the fact culture is how someone perceives themselves as an individual and learning to love and accept his or her differences. Through interviewing my friends and family about culture and diversity I have realized that we, as educators, need to place children’s thoughts and feelings about themselves and other as our number one priority.  When we do this it accomplishes two things:

1.)    It provides the child with a sense of empowerment and ownership that we take seriously what the child says as important.

2.)    It provides the teacher with an armor of knowledge and support from the children and their families to help their children grow. 

Dear Dairy: Change Equals Survival

Dear Dairy,

We have just been told to leave the U.S. due to a major, devastating earthquake. We have been told to move to another country since most of the U.S. has been physically destroyed.  Survivors are ransacking other property for any tools to survive.  

I am bringing my family pictures, Bible, and also the quilts my grandmother has made for me over the years.  The whole idea of having to choose three items is very difficult, but I understand that it is a necessity for the purpose of making sure that my family and I are able to get our new country safely and quickly.  I find that bring pictures of my family is important that way I will be able to help preserve the history of my family through photos.  Next, bring the Bible will be important also because it will serve two purposes. One, it will have historical information in it about my family’s history since it will be a family Bible and it will serve as comfort for purposes of reading and helping preserve my Christian faith.  Finally, the quilts my grandmother made me will provide warmth and comfort to me in a foreign country and will make me feel some sense of home that I will need.

Yours,

Scared

Dear Dairy,

                        We have just arrived to our new country and they told me that I could only keep one item and give up the other two items.  I am feeling very scared and sad because I feel my new country has let me down because they could not keep their promise of three items.  I do not think that I can handle so much change at one time and my trust in my new country is not very high. I believe that I will find I way to place the photos in the Bible, which means I am being sneaky, but I find that in order to preserve my family history it is important and the Bible will give me the strength I need to make it through this unbelievable time that I am having a hard time accepting.

            In conclusion, I find that under pressure change is something that is hard for me to handle but I realized that sometimes in order to survive it is a must.  I also find that family is truly important to me and it is the only thing that matters because friends can come and go, but family sticks by you through it all, at least mine does!

       Yours,

        Uncertain